By Darlene Zagata 
In the past few years teen pregnancy has been on the rise. The main problem with many of these young teenage parents is that they are not ready for parenthood. These teens view themselves as being adult enough to be sexually active but when faced with the demands of raising a child, the suddenly want to be kids again. They are simply not mature enough to accept the responsibility for their own actions.
Often what happens is that teen fathers shirk their responsibility and the girl’s parents end up caring for the infant and providing financial support. In the past year alone, I have seen four girls that I know personally get pregnant and have children. None of these girls are employed. They have dropped out of high school. They all still live at home with their parents and the parents of the girls are all the primary providers and caretakers of the babies.
If the parents of these teens choose to take on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren that is their right to do so but often the message sent to such teens is one that condones their irresponsible behavior. In many cases the same teens are pregnant again within a year or so, remain unemployed and there is a continued lack of responsibility on the part of the teen.
What can parents do to help? Parents who refuse to offer any support to their pregnant teenage daughters are only putting their daughters and the unborn children in jeopardy. If a girl can’t go to her parents for help, who knows where she may turn. On the other hand, parents who take on total responsibility for their teen and the unborn child are giving their teenager the impression that people can be irresponsible and not have to account for their actions.
The best course of action is to seek professional help such as a teen counselor or social worker. The local hospital, clinic or Public Assistance office can put you in touch with parenting programs and other programs that can assist with education, finishing high school, job training, child care and financial assistance. These programs can also help provide necessary items for the mother and newborn child. Such agencies can even provide parenting classes. Help pregnant teens to become self-sufficient parents.
Not all teenage parents shirk their parental responsibility. Many of them have proven that they can be mature responsible young adults. Raising a child can be a challenge for anyone, especially teens. Teenage parents are often still in school; some have jobs and are doing the best they can do to be good parents and care for their child.
The best way to prevent teenage pregnancy is abstinence or birth control. Some teens will wait; others will become sexually active. The choice to get birth control for your teenage daughter is a personal one that needs to be discussed openly, honestly and thoroughly. Once a teen is pregnant, lecturing about prevention and birth control is futile. There is no point in bombarding your teen with scolding about what he or she should or should not have done . Parents and teens both have to move forward in the best way possible for everyone involved. Provide teenagers with the help they need to accept their situation responsibly. By doing so, you aid them in becoming self-sufficient, responsible young adults.
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I have to say I disagree with going to a social worker for help - I worked in children's services and unless you are already in the system, that should be a last effort, especially if you have family willing to support you. There are many programs out there who will help - WIC is an excellent resource. They help you with food during the pregnancy and after the baby is born. They also provide training videos on your pregnancy and caring for a newborn. Welfare is also helpful - not only with foodstamps and money, but job training and resources like low cost childcare. Many cities offer parenting classes at low or now cost and affordable option for childcare as well. The important thing is to get out there and look! Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of.I think the biggest issue with teen pregnancy is not 'how do we make our children take responsibility', it's how do we help these young parents see that the path they chose is not the "wrong" one, just one that will be a little tougher, and the things they learn about themselves along that path will make them stronger forces for our future.In my opinion, the biggest hurdle for a teen parent is not the responsibilities of having a baby to care for, or even trying to get their education and get a job. The bigger hurdle is remaining confident in your abilities when everyone around you is waiting for you to stumble so they can say "she's just too young". It is unfair to say that a teen is unprepared for motherhood ... every mother I know was unprepared, regardless of her age. I was a teenaged mom ... and a mom again at 24 ... and a mom again at 28! Everyday I face challenges as a mother that I am unprepared for, but I have no doubt in my mind that I am a good mom. My confidence today is directly related to the support I got, and the strength I gained, as a TEEN MOM.
diane
Why would anyone do this to themselves?
Kitty
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