By Glenn A. Hascall 
When dealing with a misbehaving child have you ever been tempted to say, "Why can't you be more like _____________?" Maybe you've even gone so far as to actually utter what the mind has thought.
It's funny, but even though he may have your DNA as part of his physical makeup, he is an absolute one of a kind. That goes for temperament, like and dislikes as well as personality.
The reason she can't be more like ____________ is because to do so she would have to deny who she is.
When he was born, his temperament was put in place and he began exercising that unique reactionary skill immediately. He didn't act like his older brother, he didn't like the same things his brother liked, and he was pensive where his brother was decisive.
We can fall into a trap when we think our children have to follow a cookie cutter approach to their existence. Frankly, if all of your children reacted to things in the exact same way they wouldn't need a parent, they could simply be raised by somebody who understood that no matter what happened each child would respond in the same way - so there would be no need for second guessing or personal parental discovery.
If you watch television, you will notice a commercial that talks about single adults finding love by taking a compatibility test - then they show several happy couples who went through the process and came away with a dating partner or marriage that was matched on personality.
Parents have no such compatibility test when it comes to their children. When they take that child home from the hospital, it's all about personal discovery and learning the unique textures of the child. If a compatibility test were required, many parents would come away feeling as though they are the wrong parent for their child.
Thankfully there is no such test for parents; there is just the hope that we can learn enough about our children to find an appreciation for their unique outlook on life. We certainly should help mold and shape them for their future. We should be actively involved in their lives and help them make right choices whenever possible, but there is no comparison shopping for children.
You mother might think it is simply a case of having a child that's a whole lot like you, but even that's not exactly true. Your child will always be unique and it is that uniqueness that helps them become who they're supposed to be. You can't compare apples to oranges or even apples to apples - comparisons among children just won't work.
Let your child know that you love them specifically because they bring a new wrinkle to the family laundry.
Hmmmm, there might be a better way to phrase that.
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