| | | | Help Your Child Cope With Fear |
By Darlene Zagata 
It is normal to have fears. We all fear something. Although there are some people who claim they aren’t afraid of anything, you can rest assured that they do have some sort of fear even if they have themselves convinced otherwise. It is certainly not unusual for children to have fears. They look to their parents for comfort in soothing away those fears.
A common fear found in children is fear of the dark. Often it helps to leave a nightlight on in the child’s bedroom and to leave the door partially open. It may also be helpful to stay in the child’s room until he or she falls asleep. You may need to do this for a while until the child gradually overcomes the fear of the dark. Read a bedtime story or two while the child slips into slumber. Show the child the stars, moon and the beauty that the night sky holds. Doing so may help to alleviate his or her fears of the dark. You may also want to purchase glow in the dark stars to place on the ceiling of the child’s bedroom.
Children that are afraid of the dark may also fear monsters. If your child imagines monsters hiding beneath the bed or inside the closet, reassure and comfort the child. Look beneath the bed, inside the closet and any other place monsters may hide. Then have your child look with you. In this way you are helping the child to confront his fear.
But children have fears beyond monsters and the dark. Some children are afraid of noises, people and many other fears both real and imagined. When my daughter was a young child she became frightened very easily by noise or loud voices. If her older brothers got loud while playing around and wrestling with each other, she would get scared and hide under the bed. Even a knock on the door would send her running upstairs.
Most parents caution their children against talking to strangers but my daughter was terrified of strangers so we didn’t need to worry about her ever being too friendly. Just the mere sight of a stranger would send her clinging to her father’s leg or mine, whichever one of us happened to be closest. And believe me, it took a great deal of effort to detach her from my limb.
She gradually grew out of her fears and seems to be a completely different person now. The loud noise that used to scare her has been replaced with loud music that sometimes scares me. The little girl that was frightened of people is now more of a people person that I could have ever imagined.
As our children grow and change, so will their fears change. Some fears will dissipate into the ether of imagination while others become more realistic. Talk to your children about their fears. Let them know that it’s okay to be afraid. If your child asks you what you are afraid of, be honest. Explain your fears in ways he or she can understand. Don’t be too overprotective when dealing with fearful children. Reassure your child and help him to understand his fears.
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