| | | | Selfishness 101: They Passed With an 'A' |
By Glenn A. Hascall
Have you ever noticed that your child can be very selfish? They don't even have to be taught how to be self seeking, they simply have a knack for it and, with hardly any encouragement, and they can become overachievers in this unique art.
If you have more than one child you can see that the tendency is generally not isolated to just one child - each has their own particular means of displaying self-centeredness. Each child will gladly ascribe to the notion of 'what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine'.
One of the first words many children utter is 'MINE'. The understand that possessions are cool and that if they give their cool thing to someone else to play with then life seem devoid of any real meaning other than to plan and plot the ultimate return of the possession.
Maybe they learn some of this tendency from us when we try to keep up with the 'Joneses', but most likely it's a tendency that requires very little motivation to flourish.
Many schools are seeing an increase in selfish attitudes and have responded with a novel approach - put the students into an environment of service to others. They don't receive any monetary compensation and they might even sweat a little, but they are being taught that self sacrifice has unexpected rewards.
There are many tendencies that are tamed by volunteering. When your child takes the focus off of their own desires and concerns and begins to see the difficulties others face it is quite possible that they begin to catch a glimpse of how fortunate they really are.
They might volunteer in a soup kitchen and see families that may find this meal to be their best source of nourishment for the day. They might work on a Habitat for Humanity home knowing that a family would be able to have a real home for the first time in their lives; they might assist organizations who serve inner city kids or those with developmental disabilities.
Something wonderful happens when we learn to serve others - we shift the focus onto something or someone other than ourselves. When that happens we begin to see the world in a more compassionate way.
If your child struggles with selfishness you might consider taking the lead and volunteering some personal time doing something that your child can also participate in. The benefits include great life lessons and an improved outlook on life that minimizes selfish tendencies.
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