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    Surrogate Mothers

    By Darlene Zagata     

    A surrogate mother carries a child to term typically for a woman that cannot. A surrogate may be inseminated with sperm from the father. The woman’s eggs may be removed, fertilized and then re-implanted in the surrogate. Why would a woman choose to be a surrogate mother? Various factors may be involved in the decision to become a surrogate mother.

    A healthy woman that has no desire to have children of her own or a woman that already has children but wishes to have no more of her own may choose to become a surrogate mother due to financial considerations. A surrogate mother may be a friend, relative or stranger. A woman that cannot become pregnant or carry a child may choose to enlist the aid of a surrogate. Often a friend or family member may consent to bring forth a child for the woman who is unable to bear her own offspring.

    This is a very personal choice for both the surrogate and the prospective parents. The decision to become a surrogate or to enlist the services of a surrogate should be weighed carefully. The decision should not be made lightly. Ask yourself honestly how you feel about giving birth to a child and then giving away your rights to that child. If you are married or in a relationship, how does your partner feel about you being a surrogate? Have you discussed it with your family? What are their feelings?

    Ultimately, the decision is yours but you may want to discuss your thoughts and feelings with those closest to you. Consider the emotional factors that can present themselves when the child is born or as you near the due date. If you have chosen to be a surrogate for someone close to you such as a good friend or close relative, you must ask yourself whether continued contact with the child will cause emotional issues that you may not be able to handle appropriately. If you are the prospective parent, you may fear that the surrogate mother will change her mind and want to keep her child. You may live with this fear throughout her pregnancy and beyond. Even if the surrogate gives no indication that she would change her mind and the fear seems to be unfounded or even irrational, it may still pry on your mind for years to come.

    Being a surrogate mother requires you to be completely selfless. You must understand that even though you are the one carrying the child in your body, that child belongs to the couple you have chosen to be a surrogate for. Be certain that you are prepared to make such a sacrifice. Longstanding legal battles have ensued in cases where surrogates have changed their minds at the last minute and decided to fight to keep the child they carried and nurtured for nine months. If you have any doubts, you may want to reconsider.

    If you do decide to be a surrogate mother, you will want to check into some surrogacy programs. Express any concerns you have regarding the program, prospective parents, financial compensation and legalities. Make sure that you are comfortable with the couple and the terms of any arrangements made. It is best to ask questions, express your feelings and get clarification up front. You want to be sure that you are completely clear on all terms of agreement before signing contracts or any type of legal documents. As a surrogate mother, you can give the gift of life and love to a childless couple. Make sure it is a gift you are willing to give.

    Written by Darlene ZagataRate this article:

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