By Glenn A. Hascall
A child hears a teacher say ticks carry lime disease and that certain people get sick if they contract the disease. Further she hears that deer sometimes die because of ticks. She's never seen a tick, but is certain that to meet up with a tick would be tantamount to a death wish.
One day while taking a hike with her dad he finds a tick crawling on his daughter's shirt and he brushes it away.
"What was that?" she asks.
"Oh, just a tick," Dad responds.
The little girl becomes ridged and her mouth gapes open in a silent scream as tears begin to course down her cheeks. She wildly looks at the trees and begins to run hoping that somehow she can get out of the forest alive.
Dad doesn't have a clue what just happened, but he's off to find his little girl - hoping she doesn't hurt herself.
What do you do with a child who possesses unnatural fears over things that seem a bit ridiculous?
In simple observation I have seen dads, in particular, simply tell their children to get over it and express little compassion for the fear. Sometimes this works while other times the child simply moves into a rather solid cocoon and remains in a perpetual state of fear over something they can not be talked out of.
Conversely, there are moms (sometimes dads) that will simply enable the fear by indulging the child in their fear. These parents will hug and soothe their child in a way that has that child coming back for more on a regular basis. These children often rely more on the comfort of the parent than trying to face their fears.
At some point we all have to face our fears or we remain a slave to that fear for the rest of our lives. Some adults have subjected themselves to certain therapies that place them in direct proximity to the very thing they fear ( I.e. spiders, snakes, etc.).
Help your child understand that there is a certain fear they might feel with a lot of things, but they don't have to live in constant fear. If they are afraid of ticks help your children learn to identify a tick and remind them that they can outrun a tick any day. If they are afraid of meeting other children, find smaller, less intimidating settings in helping your child learn to socialize with other children.
We can't relieve every fear, but we can provide a means to help our child cope with some of their fears in a way that can help them succeed in spite of uncomfortable fear.
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