| | | | A Marriage With or Without Children - Personal Choices, No Regrets |
By Kristen Houghton
The simple idea that getting married and having children always go hand-in-hand is as outdated as the super large cell phones of the early 1990’s. Few couples today assume that having a child automatically follows a trip down the aisle. Some married couples are choosing not to have children at all. These are personal choices for adults and should be respected.
“We made the right decision for us,” said a woman who has been married for twenty-two years. “My husband and I got married right out of high school. For six years we both went to night school while holding down day jobs. After college we spent the next five years building careers. Finally, we got to the point where we were able to enjoy the financial aspect of all our hard work.
We traveled, built our dream house; we enjoyed our life. Around the time we built the house, we had a heart to heart talk and made the decision not to have children. We do not regret our decision.”
The idea that a couple will, at some later date in their marriage, regret not having children has been an ongoing debate in many households. There reasons given for having children are many.
“You’ll miss out on being a parent.” “You’ll have no one who cares when you’re old.” “What’s a marriage without children?” “You’re selfish if you don’t want children.”
But none of these reasons will apply to everyone because, quite frankly, not everyone is cut out to be a parent.
Whether to be a parent or not is one of the most private and personal decisions you and the person you marry will make. But, and there’s always a “but” in decision- making, you and your spouse must be comfortable with your choice. The decision not to have children has to be a joint one.
The most successful marriages are the ones with like-minded spouses. Working together and making rational and heart-felt decisions about how you both wish to live is crucial to your relationship. Marriage is the joining of two lives. Husband and wife need not always become Daddy and Mommy. Be realistic about your expectations, your needs, and your wants.
After your decision is made, have no regrets. Live your life the way you want it to be, not the way anyone else says it should be.
Post a comment
I like this article. It rings true. Each couple must decide on their own. As a woman choosing to not have her own children, I have thought long and hard about the pros and cons. I have decided this is the best decision for my marriage and life. Others may disagree. Just as parents may sometimes wonder what their lives would be like without, I expect I will wonder the opposite. I am one to reflect on life choices. But having a child just to care for me in my old age seems rather selfish on my end. I would rather save my money and set myself up in a nice retirement community. I dote upon the children of others. I am looking forward to more years of happiness.
Agreed
I like this article. It rings true. Each couple must decide on their own. As a woman choosing to not have her own children, I have thought long and hard about the pros and cons. I have decided this is the best decision for my marriage and life. Others may disagree. Just as parents may sometimes wonder what their lives would be like without, I expect I will wonder the opposite. I am one to reflect on life choices. But having a child just to care for me in my old age seems rather selfish on my end. I would rather save my money and set myself up in a nice retirement community. I dote upon the children of others. I am looking forward to more years of happiness.
Agreed
FamilyLobby.com Articles is your source for family-related articles. Talk about this article in the FamilyLobby Community.
|
|
|
|
|
StumbleUpon
