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    How Do You Know If A Marriage Is Really Over

    By Kristen Houghton     

    There is probably not one person reading this who, at one time or another, has not contemplated a divorce. It happens to all of us. As we go through the seasons of our marriage there are times of bliss and love plus times of hurt and frustration. Usually love and good days outnumber the bad and we stay together.

    Put in sailing terms by my Dad,

    “Honey there will be days of smooth sailing on peaceful seas and days of battling hurricane-like waves. Good sailors don’t abandon ship after one or two storms. They wait it out.”

    When then do we “abandon ship?” How do we know that the time has come to just give up on the marriage and go our separate ways?

    Fights in a marriage can be productive when they’re “done right.” Though that may seem a strange thing to say, a good fight, a fair fight can help solve a problem that needs to be addressed.

    If the words in fights become abusive, however, you create additional problems. Attacking a person’s intelligence, character, talents, dreams, sexual prowess, child-rearing, or physical characteristics, can indeed lead to divorce. Demeaning your spouse is not fighting fair and divorce is an option.

    A problem with addiction, either alcohol or drugs, even prescription drugs, can make you seriously consider leaving. Unless you are willing to work to fix the damage and feel confident that your spouse is determined to permanently stop the addictive behavior, you may have to leave for your own health and sanity.

    Another reason to end a marriage is that, despite your best efforts, things do not get better. Issues that somehow never got resolved, and festered for years, may have led to your decision.

    No one should stay in a marriage that is constantly filled with stress and tension, unfulfilling, and detrimental to their mental and physical health. We were put on earth to live and be happy, fulfill our dreams, and to love and be loved. No one should have that taken away because they feel trapped in a marriage that no longer works.

    How do you know when the marriage is truly over? My Dad has a saying for that too.

    “If you’re miserable sailing on a certain boat, then get off. That doesn’t mean that you’ll never sail again. It just means that you need to find one that will make you happy.”

    Written by Kristen HoughtonRate this article:

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