| | | | The 'Order' in Birth Order |
By Glenn A. Hascall
Before I had kids of my own I didn't put too much stock in the whole notion that there is personality differences in children based on the order on which they were born. I assumed that children arrive with their own set of personality positioning statements and it was up to me as a parent to figure out what those personality traits were.
I think my wife and I did a passable job in learning our two children's primary traits.
First Child
Sometimes feels as if they should have the same rights as mom and dad. Sometimes is involved in negative peer relations. Never played well alone. Likes control. Wants to be superior to sibling because she doesn't feel superior to others at school. Generally compliant, but wants mom and dad's attention and responds negatively when she doesn't have it.
Second Child
Seems happy to be alive and doesn't strive for a position of authority. Seems well liked by peers. He plays well by himself. Doesn't seem all that interested in having authority, but justice is important. Learns skills first child didn't and excels in these separate skills. Compliant and generally carefree.
Now that my oldest is on the threshold of 'teenager' I finally took the time to look at the whole birth order concept and was surprised to realize my children are classic examples of the first and second child in the birth order model and they fit the mold pretty well. Apparently the dynamics alter yet again when there is a third child. In this scenario the middle child fights both the youngest and the oldest for the attention of the parents.
I guess I always thought the birth order concept was a cop out for bad behavior or for failing to take responsibility for ones actions, but I was genuinely amazed at how closely these traits lined up with my own children. Interaction with other parents has led me to believe there is some order to the whole 'birth order' concept.
It is interesting to see that when children (no matter where they fall in the birth order) don't receive the attention from their parent(s) they will change their tactics. They WILL get your attention. If you do not respond to their compliant behavior they will get your attention through negative means. Children need our attention and will do whatever it takes to get it – even if that means getting into trouble.
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I have 7 adopted kids and I am one of seven ,how is birth order then
how about if you have more
The opposite for my two children.
Christina
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