| | | | End the Homework Nightmare |
By Deborah Crawford
Do you spend hours doing homework each night although you have not been in school for years? Many parents are held hostage by their child’s homework. But, you can quickly end the homework nightmare in just a few days. For some, those days might be a bit painful, but soon you will find your evenings and your child much more pleasant.
Here’s how to end the homework nightmare:
1—Call your child’s teacher and ask her what amount of time, on average, that she expects her students to spend on homework. Occasionally a bad teacher comes along and homework is unreasonable. But, for the most part, teachers want your child to succeed and they give homework so your child can practice skills they have already learned. Depending on your child’s age, homework can range from about 10 minutes per night for first graders to up to two hours per night for seniors in high school.
2—Stop doing your child’s homework. There is a big difference between helping your child sound out a big word and pulling up a chair to read a chapter or help compose sentences. Find something else to do in the same room during this “weaning” time. Read or cook or clean. Be close, but when he asks for help, ask him to read the material aloud and ask him what he thinks the answer might be. Move farther away as your child regains his competency and confidence.
3--Realize that homework is almost always repetition of what was covered in class that very day. Your child may have developed a habit of goofing off in class, knowing that you will read and explain everything to her later on. So, when your child insists that she does not “know” the material, gently explain to her that she needs to pay attention in class and homework will be easier.
4—Reward success with time with you and praise your child for independence. One of the biggest reasons children hold parents hostage with homework is that they crave your attention and time. As agonizing as it is for both of you, having your undivided attention for a few hours each night is great for your kid—she loves you and wants to be with you. So, encourage her to complete her homework quickly and correctly and then reward her with time with you—perhaps you will play a game together or take a walk.
5—Expect a few bad nights and perhaps a couple of bad homework grades. If you can practice a bit of “tough love” for just a few nights, your child will learn to pay attention in class and do his homework quickly each night. The first night, let them work (most of the work will be working to convince you they need you to “help”) until bedtime. Whatever is not completed then will just not be completed. Tell your child in advance that this is what will happen. Stand firm if they do not believe you.
The next night, set a reasonable time limit. If you calmly withheld through the stormy first night, your nightmare might already be over. If not, just say “Tonight, please have your homework completed by 7:00 so we can have time to read a chapter in our book.” Adjust the allotted time downward until your child is spending the appropriate amount of time completing her homework.
If you try these tips for a week or two and your child is still struggling, you might need to take additional steps. Start with a teacher conference. Then, schedule a visit to your child’s pediatrician. If other students in the class are handling homework and your child is basically healthy, you might then want to think about testing for learning disabilities.
Once you are free from the agony of homework, plan some exciting activities for you and your child to enjoy together.
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