| | | | Premarital Counseling: It's Not Just for Couples with Problems |
By Keesa Renee DuPre
Spring is in the air. It's that time of year again; wedding bells are just ahead, and proposals are popping out like pollen. Yet few of these newly engaged couples will seek premarital counseling—and that could be a huge mistake.
Counseling, unfortunately, has a bad reputation. Many people think that if you're in counseling—even premarital counseling—it's because you have problems, you're not strong enough to deal with them on your own, your relationship is going down the tubes and there's nothing you can do about it.
In fact, as any one who has gone through premarital counseling can tell you, it isn't about that all. You're so wrapped up in your Someone and your future together, have you given any thought to subjects like finances, childrearing, conflict resolution? Premarital counseling is designed to root out problems before they occur, and solve them before they ever develop.
But let's say you have talked about all those things. You already know who will be making what money, where it will go, and where and when you'll spend it. You've discussed having children, or not having children, how you'll discipline them, where they'll go to school. You know you'll have arguments in the future, and you've already agreed on important concepts such as never go to sleep with unresolved arguments, learn to compromise, never say never or always, and the like. Does premarital counseling have any value for you as a couple?
Yes. A counselor can help you think of things you may not have thought about, and work through them. Second, repeating the things you've already decided on will help cement them.
Premarital counseling is not for couples with problems as much as it is for couples without problems, so they can keep their relationship problem-free.
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