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    Relationship Rut?

    By Kristen Houghton     

    “We were in the house, he was watching yet another baseball game, I was half-heartedly reading, when it hit me. I’m s-o-o-o-o bored!”

    I hadn’t expected to hear this from a woman whose marriage I had always seen as one of the “perfect” ones. She had seemed very content in her relationship and she and her husband were people you liked to be around.

    She went on to tell me that “everything is so familiar, if something doesn’t change soon, I’ll crack!” In this case familiarity was breeding contempt.

    Let’s face it, no matter how in love we are, how much we really enjoy the familiarities in our relationships, sometimes we get in what’s called a relationship rut. Outside of running away to an exotic locale, what can you do about? Actually there’s plenty you can do but both partners need to be on the same page about what.

    Are meals at your house predictable? My grandmother made the same meals week in, week out. If you showed up at her house on Tuesday for dinner, there’d be pot roast; Wednesday would be pasta. You don’t have to be a gourmet cook or spend a lot of money to add something new to a meal. Make something simple.

    Exhausted at the end of the day and “veg-ing” out on the couch? Take a walk if the weather’s nice, a drive if it’s not.

    Join something. There is a couple in my town who organized a bi-monthly dinner group of ten people. Couples take turns choosing different restaurants, taking into consideration the budget set by the members.

    “We look forward to the night out,” says one of the members. “You dress up a little, there’s good conversation, and it’s different from every day.”

    Going to concerts works well for my best friend and her husband. A local jazz group plays at a Starbucks near their house. They go every couple of weeks and have met a whole new group of people there.

    Make new friends. I know that sounds like a no-brainer, but finding people with similar interests to yours is an excellent way to get out of a rut. If you’re interested in a particular charity, find out if there is a chapter near where you live. Get involved with planning a fundraiser or special event. Volunteers are always needed and welcomed.

    Talk honestly about being in a rut. Brainstorm together and see what can be added to your life as a couple. Boredom can impact even the best relationship. Make an effort to get out of “relationship rut.”

    Written by Kristen HoughtonRate this article:

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