By Kristen Houghton
An agreement which can set the mind of any person about to be married at ease is a little paper called a prenuptial agreement. While this may make marriage seem like a deliberately calculated chess move, it is not as cold as it sounds.
Though much more common in the case of a second marriage, especially if children from a previous one are involved, a prenuptial agreement is not such a bad idea for a “first” marriage either. And you don’t have to be Donald Trump to have a pre-nup.
More and more engaged couples are signing a “pre-nup.” It is not a sign that divorce looms on the near horizon; it is a sign that everything you have worked for, and personally accumulated, will be protected. You had a pre-marriage life that you created. It is common-sense to protect your pre-marriage assets.
When should you bring up the subject of a prenuptial agreement? Here’s a hint. Don’t wait until the week before the wedding! Ideally this topic should be broached when you’re moving into the permanent stages of a relationship. This is the time when you may be talking about marriage as a not too-distant fact and many issues involving this situation are being discussed.
Your prospective mate should know you well enough so that the idea of a legally binding, protective agreement isn’t a complete surprise. You should be able to talk about this comfortably alone together. No one else, relatives or friends, should be involved in your discussions.
Talk about the pre-nup as being beneficial to both of you. Don’t make it a one-sided deal that seems to protect only you. Ask for his or her opinion and take what he or she says very seriously. You’re talking about your future.
List all of your individual assets and prized personal items separately. A good example of prized items is jewelry, collectibles, and sports memorabilia.
Visit a lawyer together and discuss openly what you both feel should be included in the document. Make sure to mention what will become of all future assets accumulated as a married couple.
Ideally the lawyer you choose should be someone who is non-committal and objective. Seeing your own family’s lawyer is not a good idea. Again, don’t ever make this a one sided issue.
After the pre-nup is written, witnessed, and signed, forget about it. Liken it to a will, You don’t often think about it but, when you do, you feel secure knowing you have one.
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