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    Are You A Competitive Parent?

    By Sally A     

    We all know at least one parent who seems to live his life through his children. No matter what the situation, his children will always be more attractive, smarter and more well rounded than anyone else's. If you are a similar type of parent, are you actually bringing out the best in your children, or are you far too competitive? How do you know when you have crossed the boundary between the two?

    You are more interested in the event than your children

    If you are a competitive parent, you probably pay more attention to an event (for example, a school production, a sporting event, or a concert) than they do to their children. You are so concerned with your child being the most successful that you tend to lose sight of the fact that the event in question is usually designed to build the confidence and self-esteem of your child, and develop interaction skills. For you, taking part is simply not enough - being a success is the only thing that matters.

    Your child is embarrassed to take part in events

    If your child is not displaying the same enthusiasm as you, it could be a definite sign that you have overstepped the mark, especially if you find yourself losing your temper because he or she is not meeting your high standards. This will only make your child feel less enthusiastic about taking part in events in the future. As far as he or she is concerned, there are far more negative experiences attached to events than positive ones. As well as the obvious embarrassment and humiliation, he or she may also feel that they are being pushed beyond their abilities (even to the point of injury), or that their participation in an event comes at the expense of schoolwork or having a social life.

    You feel more qualified than the professional who is overseeing the event

    Parents who are very competitive may also feel the need to vent their frustrations on the teachers, coaches, or other adults who are in charge of the event. Of course, this will only cause your child to feel even more embarrassed and humiliated. You may feel that you know your child better than they do, but this is not always the case. Highly competitive parents often lose sight of what is really important - their child. If you are doing this, you may find that you do not know your child as well as you think, and you will often find that your child is not particularly interested in taking part in the event. At the end of the day, it is the professionals (rather than the parents) who know the most about putting on an event, and they will often know what is best for the children in their care. They will have a better idea of their strengths, weaknesses and limitations, which means that they are less likely to push them beyond their capabilities. As a parent, it is important to trust the professionals to know what is best, although by all means, speak up if you have evidence to the contrary.

    If you critically examine yourself, you might be surprised to find that you actually display some of the characteristics of a highly competitive parent. If you do, this is the first step to curbing your ways. Having identified the problem, you can take steps to solve it.

    Written by Sally ARate this article:

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