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    The “Miracle” of Marriage

    By Kristen Houghton     

    Bill Cosby once said, “For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked!”

    William Cosby, Ed.D. not only keeps us laughing at the foibles of families, but he’s right on target when talking about marriage.

    Marriages are complicated relationships, much more complicated than any other one we will ever have in our lives. Most couples meet as adults, fully formed intellectually and set in their own beliefs about life We are not related by blood to each other, and, unless we lived in the same neighborhood, we have not grown up in close proximity to one another. We’re essentially strangers sharing a home, a bed, a bathroom!

    We have different opinions on just about everything from how to load a dishwasher to paying bills. How can two totally separate people form a “perfect union?”

    The answer is we can’t And we shouldn’t even try.

    Perfection can be boring. Perfection has no growing points; if it is perfect it is a done deal. So not having a perfect union certainly has it’s benefits.

    One of the perks of having an imperfect marriage is growth and expansion. Now this may sound like a real estate term but it applies to relationships too.

    After a few years, you realize that you and your spouse are not the same people you were when you got married and that is good. Your interests change, your set-in-stone ideas undergo a makeover, and some things you thought you couldn’t live without, you find you don’t even want! It means that you are both more interesting people. You can find excitement in areas you thought you might never share.

    Relationship Coach Catherine Yorke says that, every few years, couples fall in “a kind of love” with each other. As each person matures in a marriage they see a new more interesting person in their spouses. Good marriages become better and uncertain ones can become good.

    “For some reason, the person you originally fell in love with, and who has expanded his or her interests and ideas within, and without, the marriage becomes more attractive. They seem like a newer, improved version of themselves.”

    So it seems that you find that the person to whom you were already attracted is one of the best aspects of your life. And miracle or not, you suddenly find that you are glad that you are married to him or her.

    Maybe marriage is a miracle. That’s as it should be. Miracles aren’t meant to be perfect; they’re meant to take our breath away with wonder.

    Written by Kristen HoughtonRate this article:

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