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    Is Your Relationship Really Worth Saving?

    By Kristen Houghton     

    “How much real time are you willing to put into saving a relationship?”

    I had asked this question at a college where I was a guest speaker on a forum discussing couples and relationships. A young woman in the audience answered my question with a question of her own,

    “Are you saying some relationships aren’t worth saving?”

    The answer is yes and no and it all comes down to whether you have more positive than negative aspects in that relationship.

    When a relationship needs saving, it usually has taken quite a hit and is damaged. Whether it is damaged beyond repair is an individual call. Trying to save a relationship takes as much time and effort as building one. You have to ask yourself just how much of your days and nights you are willing to spend to save what you once had.

    If what you once had was a really good situation, a loving relationship that included respect and kindness, then saving it makes sense. It is a rare couple who has no upsetting problems in their relationship at least once in their lives together. Damage can be repaired if both partners are willing to work together.

    Knowing the good you had and desiring to have it again, albeit with a more mature knowledge of each other, is a clear indication that your relationship is important to you. Working together to rebuild your life is key to being successful as a couple. You can overcome the bumps in the road.

    But what if your relationship has always been a bit rocky and gotten progressively so as the years have passed? Are you the only partner who wants to save the relationship? If drugs and alcohol abuse have been escalating to a danger point, are you still willing to still see the relationship as “savable?”

    Some people hold on to a relationship and a partner out of fear-fear of being alone, financial fear, and fear of the unknown life outside of being a couple. If any of these are your main reasons for trying to save a partnership that is not healthy or good for you, seek counseling to help you overcome those fears and advise you on what you can do to transition to a new life. Living with fear and an unhappy relationship will take a tremendous toll on your mental and physical health.

    Not all relationships are worth saving; some have to be dissolved so that people can get on to a new healthier, happier life. The bottom line is how you see the relationship in terms of the positive and negative effects it has on your quality of life.

    Any relationship where abuse is ongoing non-stop or where the other person’s addiction is adversely affecting your life is a relationship you have to think hard and long about saving.

    Is your relationship worth saving? Only you can be the judge.

    Written by Kristen HoughtonRate this article:

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