By Kristen Houghton
Saying I Love You (Isn’t for Wimps!)
It takes a strong person to say “I love you.” That expression isn’t for the cowardly.
I love you seems to be a “Hallmark” term. A favorite saying in some cards is- “I know I don’t always say it but I love you or, “even though I don’t say it often enough, I love you.”
I’d like to challenge that statement by asking, “why don’t you say it, and often?” Be gutsy and just say it.
I always say I love you to my husband. Letting him know he is loved is important to me. We have gotten into this loving habit and we intend to always say “I love you” as often as we want.
Saying “I love you” is something that should be said during the day. When you leave the house, when you hang up after speaking on the phone, when you e-mail each other, say I love you.
How many times have we gone out the door or hung up the phone after a fight with our spouse? Do we really want the last words they hear from us to be filled with anger and not love? This is serious and not what we want to think about but it is necessary to take stock of what we say to each other.
Too often we take the fact that someone knows we love them for granted. While most of us do know that our spouse loves us, we also know that it is nice to hear them say it.
Love is something that needs nourishment through actions and words. It is a living thing. Just as a plant will not survive without water and sunshine, love will wither if we don’t “feed” it. Saying “I love you” and showing affection, especially when it is unexpected, feeds our love.
“Saying I love you isn’t necessary because if he doesn’t know it by now, he never will,” a woman married for more than thirty years told me.
It doesn’t matter how long you’re married, hearing your husband or wife say “I love” you makes you feel that they care. Hearing these words before you leave the house can get your day going on a positive note; hearing them on the phone at work can brighten up a day. Hearing “I love you,” accompanied by a hug, can end a day with love and comfort. Three simple words can make a world of difference.
Some people are embarrassed to say I love in case they are overheard, but no one should refrain from saying “I love you” for fear of being mocked by a colleague. I taught in a school with a male teacher who was a large formidable man, named Darius. He never hung up the phone without saying “I love you” to his wife or his children.
One day another teacher overheard him speaking to his wife and laughingly mocked him by saying, “a-h-h-h, how sweet!! kiss-y, kiss-y.” Darius laughed good-naturedly and later told me something I’ve never forgotten,
“It doesn’t bother me. Who is more important to me, my wife or my co-workers? I want my wife to know I love her every minute of the day. That’s it. Period.”
Don’t be a wimp. Say I love you to your spouse. Make their day beautiful with the knowledge that, no matter how their day is going, they are loved.
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