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Tips for Happy Weekday Mornings with Children
By Eileen Parker
We see it on TV: Parents scurry around the house; they yell upstairs for Renee to get up, for the fourth time; the school bus is coming and Ryan can’t find his books; Jenny spilled the cereal on the floor; the parents do it all while trying to get ready for work. We cringe as our shoulders go up, remembering what it was like this morning.
Stop and take a deep breath. Help has arrived. Here are tips for easier, happier, calmer weekday mornings:
Schedule a family meeting to make a plan for happy mornings. Include the children in the ideas and decision-making so they feel like they own the plan, yet know that you have veto power. Ask the children what would make their mornings easier and happier – their insightful ideas may surprise you. Make group decisions and write it down as the plan, including rules like this one: Say positive things in a talking voice.
Here is my family’s plan:
Start the night before. The more you and the children prepare, the easier and smoother it is in the morning. Set the schedule for the night before and for the morning. In a short time, the children will know the schedule so well, it’ll be performed like a perfectly timed spy operation; you are the commander of the operation.
First, schedule the children’s after-school activities early, so they are home by 7:00 p.m. On school nights, when children are playing outside or visiting friends, 7:00 p.m. is “come in time.” “Come in time” is arbitrary, but it works!
Eight o’clock chimes. Cell phones are turned off. Friends are not allowed to call after 8:00 p.m. Turn off extra lights. It’s quiet time and brush teeth time. Then, they choose clothes for tomorrow and lay them out somewhere in their rooms. They get school books, backpacks, shoes, and coats ready by the front door. They set breakfast dishes and cereal on the table, ready for morning.
After that, 8:30 is bedtime. A bedtime of 8:30! Yes. Children are more alert, have a more positive outlook, and perform better in school, if they get enough sleep. My eleven-year-old will sometimes say, “But, I’m not tired.” I say, “Just lay down for 10 minutes, and then you can play toys in your room.” In 15 minutes, I go in and turn out the light.
You will have a schedule too. Go to bed before 10:00 p.m. so you can wake up naturally, relaxed, and refreshed – before the alarm rudely awakens you. Go to sleep early enough so in the morning, you get 15 minutes of quiet to get ready before you wake the children.
Put on your happy face and wake the children. With a song in your voice, sing, “Good morning!” Repeat as needed. When they get up, their first task is to have a glass of water or juice to wake them up and keep their moods cheery. Then, they follow the bathroom schedule as they set in the family meeting. After that, it’s breakfast and dashing out the door to their school buses.
After one month, we had another family meeting where we fine-tuned our schedule and made our mornings even merrier. Our happy mornings set the tone for the rest of our days.