Once your children enter the magical world of preschool, you, the parents, enter the wonderful, or rather not so wonderful, world of sleepovers.  Fortunately, for many of us, our entrance into this phase of life does not actually occur until our children enter second or third grade.  By that time, we have a bit of confidence that our child is capable of handling such a momentous event, and so the stress we experience will not be so overwhelming.

A sleepover can involve two different types of situations.  In the first situation, you, the parents of the child who has been invited on a sleepover, personally know the parents of the child who has extended the invitation.  If you are very familiar with them, then no or little uneasiness results when allowing your child to attend the sleepover.

In the second situation, you, the parents, have never met the other parents or have met them only in passing.  In this particular scenario, a lot of uneasiness may deter you from allowing your child to attend the sleepover, or at the very least results in a very sleepless night.

Once you have agreed to the sleepover, it has become commonplace and acceptable to ask a few questions before the actual sleepover date.  Typical questions that you should ask to safeguard your child’s well-being are:

ü      Are there any weapons in the home?

ü      If there are weapons in the home, are they under lock and key? 

ü      Do any other adults live in the home? 

ü      Will my child be going anywhere or will all of you be staying at home? 

Next, it is important to relay any medical or other information that might come in handy.  For example:

ü      My child is allergic to x, y, and z. 

ü      My child needs to sleep in the dark or she cannot fall asleep.

ü      My child is afraid of large dogs.

ü      My child is not allowed to watch the following television shows (and provide the names).

Finally, it is essential to express to your child that he or she may always change his or her mind once he or she is there.  Under no circumstances refuse to allow your child to call you in the middle of the night ever to say, “Mommy, I want to come home.”

Occasionally, a child may experience mild separation anxiety and want to come back home.  This should be perfectly acceptable with you, even if it is the middle of the night.  Look at it this way, wouldn’t you rather get dressed, drive over to the sleepover home, and bring your child home safe and snug, than deal with a recurring problem? 

After all, if your child is anxious enough to want to come home, a valid reason exists.  Perhaps your child simply misses home.  Perhaps the other home is too unfamiliar to him or her.  More importantly, perhaps something simply isn’t copasetic over there. 

In fact, sometimes there may be an excellent reason for your child’s distress and the perfect solution would be to allow your child to come back to his or her home.  I have always given my children permission to call me at any time.  Simply knowing that they could come home at anytime allowed my children and their parents to relax, especially on that first sleepover visit.