The War Drum of LunacyBy Glenn A. Hascall"The definition of a heat wave is three days on a row that exceed 92 degrees." Yep, that's what I heard on the radio and the temperature had been in excess of 100 degrees for five days. All my children knew for sure was that they didn't want to be in the house anymore. Of course I found this strange considering it was 107 degrees outside and the basement was a balmy 75. Yet, they continued to pound the war drum of lunacy. They wanted to go swimming. I want to say up front I believed swimming is a solid alternative if you are going to brave this kind of scorching temperatures, yet I am not a swimmer and I had no compulsion to become father jerky in the heat of the afternoon. I can just see it now. Two older men walking by with their hats and a cold drink when one says to the other, "Who's that?" "Don't know for sure. He looks like that writer fella that moved in down the road." "Naw, can't be him. He looks nothing like this raisin fella." "Maybe he's one of those new fancy statues from New York City ." "Sure is an ugly statue." So, to avoid such an unpleasant experience, both for myself and any who may pass by, my blessed saintly wife took them swimming while I pound away on the keyboard. This is one of rare moments when I am left undisturbed. I can whittle away at a thought without having a hammer of questions scatter those beautiful words to the four corners of my cerebral cortex. It is indeed a wondrous afternoon. There will be moments for afternoon jaunts through places wild and unexplored, but my perfect outdoor jaunting temperature is around seventy degrees so I guess I may have to wait until fall. Better yet, maybe they could help me explore the basement office and find a variety of things I've been missing since the Reagan administration. Any minute now my children will be coming home with tales of water exploration and what their friends said and how many days till the next big event. I will listen and then begin to wonder what was so important that I couldn't find a few minutes to go bake with my family. These moments with my children pass far too quickly. Besides, what's a little heat stroke among family? |